What is the Islamic etiquette of friendship?
The scholars taught that friends shape the afterlife of the one who keeps them. They laid down the qualities to seek in a companion — and the qualities that should send one running.
10 passages from 6 books in the library
Al-Ghazali taught that one's companions shape one's afterlife, so a friend must be chosen with care. In his books on brotherhood and seclusion he urges seeking someone whose company benefits you and reminds you of Allah — 'if you forget, the companion reminds; if you remember, the companion assists' — and he holds that defending a brother against slander is an obligation of the bond of brotherhood. He recalls the Prophet's ﷺ words that he would have taken Abu Bakr as his closest friend, naming companionship in study, travel, neighborhood and faith as ties worth honoring.
Drawn from the classical sources below — in the scholars' own words.
The classical approach.
These passages are drawn from 6 books by Imam al-Ghazali — part of the classical Sunni tradition that carries over a thousand years of reflection on the Qurʾān, the authentic Sunnah, and the consensus of the early community. Nothing below is a paraphrase. The words are the scholars' own, translated from the original Arabic manuscripts.
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
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"intimate friend, but your companion is the intimate friend of Allah, is narrated by Muslim"
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"friend, I would have taken Abu Bakr as an intimate friend, but your companion is the"
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"without a friend to converse with daily. Thus he should strive to find someone whose company"
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
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"knowledge is indeed a fine companion, may God reward it well on my behalf, for now a friend has revealed to me the"
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
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"is the friend of the Most Merciful, indicating that divine friendship filled his heart completely."
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"He said, If I were to take a close companion, I would have taken Abu Bakr, but your companion"
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
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"Thus, protecting brotherhood by repelling defamation is obligatory in the bond of brotherhood."
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"It could also be neighborhood, companionship of travel or study, or friendship or brotherhood."
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
-
"aids you in it. If you forget, the companion reminds. If you remember, the companion assists."
11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali →
· Provenance →
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"Secondly, one should choose a companion and not set out alone, for it is first the companion,"
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