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What does Islam say about raising children?

The Prophet ﷺ spoke tenderly of his own grandchildren and warned sternly against parents who harm their trust. The classical scholars wrote manuals on the ages of a child and what each age asks of a parent.

10 passages from 6 books in the library

Islam regards children as a trust, and the classical scholars wrote that parents are answerable for how they raise them. Al-Ghazali, in his Book of Marriage and elsewhere, treated each stage of a child's life as carrying its own duties upon the parent, while warning that wealth and children can distract a person from Allah if love of them dominates the heart. Ibn Kathir relates that the believers' children will be gathered with their parents in Paradise. The tradition couples tender affection — the Prophet's gentleness with his own grandchildren — with the responsibility of guiding a child toward good.

Drawn from the classical sources below — in the scholars' own words.

Where the answer comes from

The classical approach.

These passages are drawn from 6 books by Ibn Kathir, Imam al-Ghazali, and Imam al-Dhahabī — part of the classical Sunni tradition that carries over a thousand years of reflection on the Qurʾān, the authentic Sunnah, and the consensus of the early community. Nothing below is a paraphrase. The words are the scholars' own, translated from the original Arabic manuscripts.

Read them closely. If a passage doesn't sit right, open the full book in the library and listen to the chapter around it. Context in the classical tradition is everything.

Cover of Volume 1 — From Creation to Mūsā
Volume 1 — From Creation to Mūsā
Ibn Kathir · Al-Bidāya wal-Nihāya

14th century · Bosra, Syria
Monumental history Al-Bidāyah wa al-Nihāyah, the world's most widely read Qurʾanic commentary, and the classical Stories of the Prophets.
More on Ibn Kathir → · Provenance →

  1. "approached his brother, which was the custom of greeting at that time, akin to the angels bowing to Adam, and as Joseph's brothers and parents would bow to him later. Upon seeing him, Esau advanced, embraced Jacob, kissed him, and they both wept. Lifting his eyes, Esau saw the women and children and inquired about them. Jacob responded, These are the children God has graciously given your servant. The maidservants and their children approached and bowed, followed by Leah and her children, and Rachel with her son Joseph, who also bowed. Jacob insisted that Esau accept his gift, which Esau eventually did. Esau returned ahead of Jacob, who followed with his"

Cover of Book 15: Friendship and Brotherhood
Book 15: Friendship and Brotherhood
Imam al-Ghazali · Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din

11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali → · Provenance →

  1. "There is also the hadith "The mother's supplication is answered more quickly. Its original source is not found. A man once asked, "O Messenger of Allah, towards whom should I be kind? The Prophet replied, "Your parents. The man then said, "I have no parents. The Prophet replied, "Then be kind to your children. Just as your parents have rights upon you, so too do your children.""

Cover of The Story of Ishaq & Yaqub
The Story of Ishaq & Yaqub
Ibn Kathir · Stories of the Prophets

14th century · Bosra, Syria
Monumental history Al-Bidāyah wa al-Nihāyah, the world's most widely read Qurʾanic commentary, and the classical Stories of the Prophets.
More on Ibn Kathir → · Provenance →

  1. "He advanced before his family and bowed to Esau seven times, as was their custom. This was ordained for them, just as the angels bowed to Adam and as the brothers of Joseph and his parents would bow to him. When Esau saw Jacob, he came forward, embraced him, kissed him, and wept. Esau looked up and saw the women and children asking, Who are these with you? Jacob responded, These are what Allah has graciously given to your servant. The maidservants and their children approached and bowed to him. Then Leah and her children came forward and bowed, and Rachel and her son Joseph also came forward and bowed. Jacob insisted that Esau accept his gift, and so he did."

Cover of Al-Kabā'ir — The Major Sins
Al-Kabā'ir — The Major Sins
Imam al-Dhahabī · Timeless Classics

13th–14th century · Damascus, Syria
Siyar Aʿlām al-Nubalāʾ — the monumental biographical dictionary of Islamic scholarship, from the companions of the Prophet ﷺ through al-Dhahabī's own era. A working-scholar reference used for seven centuries.
More on Imam al-Dhahabī → · Provenance →

  1. "Except for disobedience to parents for it is hastened for its owner in this world before the day of resurrection Kabbalah bar may Allah have mercy on him added Indeed Allah hastens the destruction of a servant if he is disobedient to his parents and he prolongs the life of a servant if he Is dutiful to his parents increasing him in goodness and kindness among the duties towards parents is to support them if they are in need a Man once came to the Prophet peace be upon him and said Oh messenger of Allah My father wants to take from my wealth the Prophet peace be upon him replied you and your wealth belong to your father"

  2. "He also said the maternal aunt is like the mother in terms of dutifulness honor connection and kindness Wab Ibn Munabi narrated that Allah the Exalted Revealed to Moses peace be upon him. Oh Moses honor your parents for whoever honors his parents I will extend his life and grant him a child who will honor him and whoever disobeys his parents I will shorten his life and grant him a child who will disobey him Abu Bakr Ibn Abi Maryam mentioned reading in the Torah that whoever strikes his father should be killed Similarly Wab noted that the Torah states whoever insults his parents should be stoned"

  3. "Whoever prays but does not give zakat, nothing will be accepted from him. The third is the saying of Allah, And be grateful to me and to your parents. Whoever is grateful to Allah but is not grateful to his parents, nothing will be accepted from him. Therefore the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of Allah is in the displeasure of the parents."

  4. "him, where the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, If a man loses a child from my nation, he will enter paradise. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, asked, O my father, who has children? He replied, And whoever has children. The Prophet, peace be upon him, added, And whoever has children, O my fortunate one. She then asked, Whoever does not have children from your nation?"

Cover of Book 22: The Book of Disciplining the Soul
Book 22: The Book of Disciplining the Soul
Imam al-Ghazali · Ihya' 'Ulum al-Din

11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali → · Provenance →

  1. "This is a high rank, attained only by the devout and the truthful. Chapter: Explaining the Path to Training Children at an Early Age and the Method of Disciplining Them and Improving Their Morals Understand that training children is among the most crucial and essential responsibilities. Children are a trust bestowed upon their parents, and their pure hearts are like precious, unblemished jewels."

Cover of Book 31: The Book of Repentance
Book 31: The Book of Repentance
Imam al-Ghazali · Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din

11th–12th century · Ṭūs, Khurāsān
Reviving the inner life of Islam through the Iḥyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn — one of the most influential works ever written in any religious tradition.
More on Imam al-Ghazali → · Provenance →

  1. "He said, "With their parents. I said, "Without actions? He said, "Allah knows best what they would have done. I said, "And the children of the polytheists? He said, "With their parents. I said, "Without actions? He said, "Allah knows best what they would have done. Al-Tabarani narrates from the hadith of Khadijah: "I said, 'O Messenger of Allah, where are my children from you?"

  2. "and the children around him are those born on the natural disposition. They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, and the children of the polytheists? He replied, "And the children of the polytheists. From al-Tabarani's hadith, we asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) about the children of the polytheists, and he said, "They serve the people of Paradise."

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