How do I deal with loneliness as a Muslim?
Loneliness is a door to Allah the scholars pointed to specifically. The heart that has only Allah left to turn to, they said, has been given a gift.
10 passages from 5 books in the library
The classical scholars saw loneliness as a door to Allah rather than only a hardship. Al-Ghazali, in his Etiquettes of Seclusion, counsels the one whose heart feels confined by solitude to remember death and the loneliness of the grave, putting present aloneness in perspective. Yet he balances this: "a righteous companion is better than solitude, and solitude is better than" bad company. The heart left with only Allah to turn to, the tradition holds, has been given a gift — for true intimacy is found in turning to the One who alone endures.
Drawn from the classical sources below — in the scholars' own words.
The classical approach.
These passages are drawn from 5 books by Ibn al-Qayyim — part of the classical Sunni tradition that carries over a thousand years of reflection on the Qurʾān, the authentic Sunnah, and the consensus of the early community. Nothing below is a paraphrase. The words are the scholars' own, translated from the original Arabic manuscripts.
14th century · Damascus, Syria
Madārij al-Sālikīn — the classical map of the spiritual journey — and a vast body of work on the soul, love, the traps of the ego, and the nature of the heart.
More on Ibn al-Qayyim →
· Provenance →
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"For this truth, there is servitude, and for this truth, there is servitude, and neither nullifies the other; rather, they are only complete with each other, and servitude is only complete with their combination. This is the essence of the statement: "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help," from سُورَة الفَاتِحَة. Unlike those who nullify the truth of "You alone we worship" with the truth of "You alone we ask for help," claiming it is unity, and "You alone we worship" is differentiation."
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"As اللّٰه says in سُورَة البَيِّنَة: "And they were not commanded except to worship اللّٰه, being sincere to Him in religion." Everyone is commanded only to worship اللّٰه as He has commanded, with sincerity in worship. They are the people of "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help." Chapter: The People of "You Alone We Worship" Have Four Paths in the Best and Most Beneficial Worship Chapter: The people who live by the principle "You alone we worship" from سُورَة الفَاتِحَة have four distinct paths when it comes to the best and most beneficial acts of worship."
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"They do not fulfill the true essence of "You alone we worship" from the verse in سُورَة الفَاتِحَة, even though they have a portion of "we worship You." However, they do not have a share in "You alone we worship," which implies: we worship none but You, with love, fear, hope, obedience, and reverence. Thus, "You alone we worship" affirms this التَّوْحِيد and negates associating others with Him in divinity, just as "You alone we ask for help" affirms the oneness of lordship and negates associating others with Him in it."
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"Perhaps we will return to this with God's help. The repetition of "You alone" again indicates the connection of these matters to each of the two actions. In repeating the pronoun, there is a strength of implication that is not present in its omission. If you say to a king, for example, "You alone I love, and You alone I fear," it implies an exclusivity of love and fear for his essence and an emphasis on mentioning him, which is not present in saying, "You alone I love and fear.""
14th century · Damascus, Syria
Madārij al-Sālikīn — the classical map of the spiritual journey — and a vast body of work on the soul, love, the traps of the ego, and the nature of the heart.
More on Ibn al-Qayyim →
· Provenance →
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"There is no void in the self or in the will. Whoever does not have اللّٰه as their purpose will desire something else. Whoever does not worship Him alone will worship something else. Whoever does not act for اللّٰه will inevitably act for someone else. This has been previously mentioned. The sincere person is protected by اللّٰه through worshiping Him alone, desiring His face, fearing Him alone, hoping in Him alone, seeking from Him, humbling oneself to Him, and relying on Him alone."
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"Perfection is giving both separation and gathering their due in this perspective and the first perspective. Thus, it becomes clear that "You alone we worship and You alone we ask for help" encompasses both gathering and separation. And اللّٰه is the One whose help is sought. Chapter: The Station of Hope The Reality of Hope Chapter: The Station of Hope Among the stations of "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help" from سُورَة الفَاتِحَة is the station of hope."
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"The distraction is the opposing force, like something that obstructs you on your path, coming across it. Among the strongest of these distractions is the loneliness of being alone. He does not pay attention to it, as some of the truthful have said: "Your solitude on your path is a sign of the sincerity of your pursuit." Another said: "Do not feel lonely on your path due to the fewness of those who tread it, and do not be deceived by the multitude of those who perish.""
14th century · Damascus, Syria
Madārij al-Sālikīn — the classical map of the spiritual journey — and a vast body of work on the soul, love, the traps of the ego, and the nature of the heart.
More on Ibn al-Qayyim →
· Provenance →
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"it occurs through both the heart and tongue together, which is the best form. Other times it is through the heart alone, which holds the second rank. Lastly, it can be through the tongue alone, which is the third rank. The best remembrance is when the heart and tongue are in harmony. Chapter The Remembrance of Allah is Superior to Supplication Indeed, the remembrance of the heart alone is superior to the remembrance of the tongue alone. This is because the remembrance of the heart leads to knowledge, stirs love, arouses modesty, inspires fear, calls to vigilance, restrains negligence and obligations, and prevents carelessness in sins and misdeeds."
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"Leave everything at the door of your solitude, enter alone, and you will find your companion in your solitude with the eye of your inner secret. You will witness what lies beyond appearances, and the self will vanish, replaced by the command and closeness of God. Thus, your ignorance becomes knowledge, your distance closeness, your silence remembrance, and your loneliness intimacy."
14th century · Damascus, Syria
Madārij al-Sālikīn — the classical map of the spiritual journey — and a vast body of work on the soul, love, the traps of the ego, and the nature of the heart.
More on Ibn al-Qayyim →
· Provenance →
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"The meanings of all His names revolve around these. And His words, "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help," comprise knowledge of the path that leads to Him — that it is nothing other than worshipping Him alone by what He loves and is pleased with, and seeking His help in worshipping Him. And His words, "Guide us along the straight path," comprise the declaration that the servant has no way to his felicity except by remaining upright upon the straight path, and that he has no way to such uprightness except through his Lord's guidance,"
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